Ruger developed a new Hand gun

The Ruger Congressman

Haha!

With the elections just around the corner…

 

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No Heated Seats, NO Heater!

NO HEATED SEATS. NO Heaters!!!

Before I complain the next time I get into that COLD car,

I’ll try to remember what it was like for my grandparents and their contemporaries.

Check out the rear tire chains and the front tire skids!

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One second before…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Well, There’s Your Problem Right There .

Well, There’s Your Problem Right There …

 

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A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Wincor-Nixdorf ProCash 2050 Cash Dispenser.

Image via Wikipedia

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off..

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card..

5.. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up..

6.. Attempt to insert card into machine…

7… Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8…. Insert card.

9.. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page..

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt..

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside..

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse car back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give the finger to the person honking behind you.

24.. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone..

26.. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

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Texting for Seniors

The Lawrence Welk Show

Image via Wikipedia

Teens have theirs, now seniors have their own texting codes. I thought the
following listing was
appropriate … After all the kids have all their little codes…like BFF, LOL,
etc….so here are some codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s
BFF – Best Friends Funeral
BTW – Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM – Covered by Medicare
CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center
DWI – Driving While Incontinent
FWBB – Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
FYI – Found Your Insulin
GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA – Got Heartburn Again
HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL – Living on Lipitor
LWO – Lawrence Welk‘s On
OMMR – On My Massage Recliner
OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL..CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!
TOT – Texting on Toilet
TTYL – Talk to You Louder
WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again
WTP – Where’re the Prunes
WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

 

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An Older Lady Named Ida

Adult leopard frog

Image via Wikipedia

An older lady named Ida was somewhat lonely since her cat died and decided she needed another pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her.
He whispered, ‘ I ‘ M SO LONELY, TOO. BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME.. YOU WON ‘ T EVER BE SORRY. ‘Ida figured, what the heck! She hadn ‘ t found
anything else. So she bought the frog. She placed
him in the car, on the front seat beside her.
As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her ‘ KISS ME AND YOU WON ‘ T BE SORRY.. ‘ !
So, Ida figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog.
IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince
THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED IDA ‘ S KISS.SUDDENLY IDA FELT HERSELF
TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS. NOW
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IDA TURNED INTO?COME ON GUESS!

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SHE TURNED INTO the first Holiday Inn SHE COULD FIND!!!

She’s old…… NOT DEAD!!!!!
OLD LADIES ROCK