YOU KNOW IF YOUR AN FLORIDIAN IF…………….

YOU KNOW IF YOUR AN FLORIDIAN IF…………….
Socks are only for bowling.
You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
Your winter coat is made of denim.
… You can tell the difference between fire ant Bites and mosquito bites.
You’re younger than thirty but some of your Friends are over 65.
Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.
You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
Every other house in your neighborhood Had blue roofs in 2004-2005. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.
You dread love bug season.
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley , Frances , Ivan, Jeanne, Wilma…Irene…Cheryl…Rita, Mary..Alison
You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
‘Down South’ means Key West .
Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
You’ve hosted a hurricane party.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.
You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.
You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.
You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘ Northern Cuba .’
You not only forward this but you understand it.
When it does snow in FL you run outside with no coat or shoes on and knock on neighbors doors no matter what time screaming for them to come outside.

The Green Thing

A reel lawn mower, adapted from an illustratio...

Image via Wikipedia

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”
The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.”

He was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smarty pants young person.